I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
