My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
