On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
