tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
