i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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