My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
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