Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
