smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
