Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
