Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
