was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
