Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
