She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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