If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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