He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
