4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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