your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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