My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
