I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
