im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
