I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
is that a dick in a sweater?
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
