Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
