HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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