he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
