My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
