i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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