We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
