I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Randomize
