i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
