yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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