When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
