If i come over, it means nothing
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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