I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize