okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
There r osticjed everywhere
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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