Well apparently he's into motor boating.
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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