Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
