I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
