4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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