I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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