is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
