I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
