My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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