That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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