he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize
