From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
