did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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