porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
