he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
