he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
you inspire me to be a worse person
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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