that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
