I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
