I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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