i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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