I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
