remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
