Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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