if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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