office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
