I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
